In the first of her monthly columns, Dafna Bonas, founder of pioneering snack brand Indie Bay, says this is the year for women to just keep going…
Everywhere you look, there are inspiring slogans blazing across media platforms. Just Do It. Every Failure Is a Learning. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. Make it happen. Our dreams and ambitions are reduced to pithy one-liners, and the message is clear: we are focusing on the wrong things, not doing enough yet, must try harder and do better.
This year, I would urge women to believe in the opposite, to celebrate what they are already and support one another as we do what we are doing well. In the #MeToo world of honest exchange and bold action, let’s embrace our will to act, and just keep making that happen. Let’s celebrate our brave actions every day, and endeavour to move forward with as much energy and determination as we can muster. That is a lot.
I can barely breathe, and I know my friends and colleagues feel the same. The messages that are meant to inspire are driven by a sense of inadequacy, but fail to recognise everything women have to do and juggle already. We are doing enough. We are doing a lot. So for 2019, I share a different goal: Just Keep Going. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing the best that you can.
As an entrepreneur building a fast-growing snack business on a mission to dent the obesity crisis by reinventing classic savoury snacks, a mother to three, a wife, a friend, a trustee, a homework tutor and advisor, I wouldn’t describe myself as a slacker. On most days, I am busy from 6:30 am until 11 pm at least, non-stop, cramming in as much as I can. We can talk about how to choose what fits into that busy day another time, compare productivity tools and lessons learned, but that is not the point here. Rather, women should be honest and admit it is so hard and we are doing the best that we can already.
Celebrating what is, rather than different versions of perfect “could be’s”, dictates asking for what we need in order to keep going too. I was recently asked to join a discussion on motherhood, #metoo, and the new “having it all”. That sounded very appealing until I realised the time set for the discussion: 4 – 7pm. Clearly this was booked by people who do not have to worry about parenting. For those with younger kids, evening hours on weeknights are often the only ones we have with our kids. The room would probably be full for discussion, but the conversation would be biased and unrealistic, lacking the women about whom the discussion was focused. It was one of those unintended oversights, marginally better than male policymakers sitting in a room and deciding on women’s health legislation. I made a fuss, as frankly trying to fit it all in is hard enough already; why are they making it harder? 2019 is the year to unashamedly speak up about the support and consideration we need to help us do what we do.
So I leave you with this thought: making it all fit and doing all we do is already a herculean task. We have so much to be proud of, so much we achieve and conquer each day. We share similar challenges as we navigate and juggle as best we can. Let’s celebrate one another in these efforts and commit to continuing to do the best we can at what we’re doing already. We just do it already, every day.
Dafna Bonas, founder of Indie Bay Snacks
