Being a people-pleaser has its advantages, but it also has its disadvantages.
It can be beneficial to have a people-pleasing personality because it means that you are sensitive and empathetic. However, this can lead to neglecting your own needs and desires, which can cause negative consequences in the long run.
We often have a lot of demands on our time, and we are expected to be available 24/7. We are also constantly bombarded with messages that tell us that we need to be perfect and have everything together all the time. This makes it hard for us to stop trying so hard and just say no when someone asks us for something or if we don’t want to do something. But the problem with saying yes when you don’t want to is that you end up feeling resentful, exhausted, and unhappy in your relationships because you can’t fulfill other peoples’ needs while neglecting your own.
If you have a people-pleasing personality, here are some ways you can escape from it:
Understand your people-pleasing personality traits
In order to escape the people-pleasing mindset, you first need to understand what causes it. Your people-pleasing personality traits are the root cause of your need to please others and can be classified into three categories:
- Self-sacrificing: You do things for others without thinking about your own needs. You are constantly putting other people’s needs in front of yours.
- Approval seeking: You want to please everyone and will go out of your way to make sure that they are happy with you.
- People pleasing by omission: You neglect your own needs in order to avoid conflict with others or being disliked by them.
Set boundaries
The people-pleasing mindset is a difficult one to get out of. It can be hard to distinguish between what we want and what others want from us. But, it’s not impossible. We can start by setting boundaries in our personal and professional lives, as well as by considering the long-term consequences of our actions. You can start by changing your mindset and learning how to say no without feeling guilty. You should also take care of yourself by practicing self-care on a daily basis. You may also want to consider putting yourself first for a change and stop trying so hard with other people in order to please them.
Learn how to say no
The first step to learning how to say no is understanding what it means. Saying no does not mean that you are rejecting the person or the situation. It just means that you are declining an offer, invitation, or opportunity. You can still be polite and respectful in your refusal. The next step is to take responsibility for your own needs and wants in a situation. If you have been told yes too many times, it may be time to set some boundaries with people who want something from you. You may need to say “no” more often in order to get back some of your time and energy for yourself. Start with small ways to say no. That’ll make it easier for you later when you want to say no to the bigger stuff!
Stop trying to be perfect
Perfectionism is one of the most common mental illnesses in the world. It can be seen in many people who do not live up to their potential, who are afraid to try new things and are afraid of making mistakes. Perfectionists often have a hard time coping with criticism, which can lead to low self-esteem. I think that one of the best ways to stop trying to be perfect is by doing things for yourself. You can start by taking care of your mental health, your physical health, and your relationships with others.
Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion is a way to take care of yourself and your emotional needs. It means being kind to yourself when you are experiencing difficult feelings, rather than judging or criticizing yourself. Practicing self-compassion can help you feel more calm and at peace with yourself, even in the face of life’s struggles. You can practice self-compassion by recognizing that everyone experiences pain and difficulties from time to time. You are not alone in your suffering, and it’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. Take care of yourself, forgive yourself for your mistakes, and make an effort to do things differently next time.
