Is “Being Responsible” Costing You and Your Business?

A lot of us grew up conditioned to be “responsible” – so we try to be, often out of wanting to be approved or accepted, or not be made to feel guilty or shamed.

Being “responsible” out of “being good” or “being approved/loved/accepted” may send you down the trap of “codependency” that will cause you not just your sanity but also potentially your business.

In the context of business and money mindset, codependency can show up as:

• Undercharging – you feel responsible for giving everyone access to your service and you have the belief that you can “help more people” by charging less.
• Over-delivering – you feel responsible for your clients’ results even though they need to do the work to succeed. Because you feel responsible, you would bend over backwards – compromising your own boundaries in order to “help” that person with the misconception that somehow, you can do the work for your client.
• Constantly discounting – you buy into the client’s money stories and somehow made felt responsible that your fee will turn into the cause of her distress so you discount to make yourself feel better.
• Giving away services for free – this is martyr mentality and can turn into victimhood that kicks you off the driver’s seat altogether.

We all know that just reading about “charging more” doesn’t get you very far. If so, we would all be doing it already. It’s one thing to learn about “how to charge more” but it’s another thing to actually DO IT.

What’s in the way of us stating our fees confidently? If we know the “how” intellectually, why do we still fall into the codependency trap?

Poor Boundary and Disempowered Voice Rooted In Fears

Simply put, if we don’t get good at saying “no”, we are going to take on everything others lay upon us. We hold ourselves back from speaking up because we are afraid of:

• Rejection or disapproval
• Losing love or not being liked
• Being judged, criticized or exposing our vulnerability
• Being worthless if we don’t constantly “prove” or validate our value
• Ending up with nothing – money, relationships, respect etc.

Understanding why you are afraid of speaking up can help you cultivate the awareness to break the pattern. You can try this 5-minute 6-step process to help overcome your fears so you can empower your voice and reclaim your boundary.

Our Nurturing Nature

We are genetically programmed to be nurturing – particularly for women and anyone who are empathic and choose to work in the “helping profession.” There is nothing wrong with that and I don’t believe we have to “suit up” and “act all Type A” to succeed in business. However, this nurturing instinct may drag us into codependent relationships if we are not mindful of our boundaries.

(If you score high as “Nurturer” in this Money Archetype Assessment (it’s free!), you may want to pay special attention to the following exercise.)

Now Be Honest…

1. Where in your relationships with your clients are you exhibiting or encouraging codependency?
2. What are you secretly afraid of may happen if you cut the cord?
3. What if answer for #2 is no longer important – what would you do?
4. How much time and money is this codependency costing you? How many more clients can you have and how much more income can you generate if you recoup that time and/or revenue?

For more Money Mindset goodness, download this free Money Archetype Assessment Kit.

About the Author

Through her unique blend of Business + Marketing coaching with a Mindset + Psychic Twist, Ling Wong helps Maverick Entrepreneurs nail their message, claim their superpowers and muster up the GUTS to monetize their Truth so they can build a purposeful and profitable Personality-Driven business that is a full expression of their creativity and individuality.

Ling helps her clients claim their entrepreneurial identity and architect their personal brand story, then translate them into offerings and marketing communication that sell through her intuitive yet rigorous iterative process born out of her Harvard Design School training.

Find Ling and download her free “Monetize Your Truth” Mindset + Marketing training bundle here.