We’ve all been there. That situation where we just can’t seem to catch a break. We try our best, but the results just aren’t what we wanted. And when things don’t go our way, it’s easy to blame someone else – or something else. But what if the problem was actually us? In this article, we’ll explore how our own behaviour can often hold us back from success. We’ll discuss why things don’t always go our way, and how to unlock our potential so that we can achieve our goals.
Beliefs
Our beliefs shape the outcome of every situation we experience in life. The way we think about ourselves and our capabilities affects how we approach challenges that come our way. If you believe something like “I’m not good enough,” then it’s likely that any failure or setback will be seen by you as confirmation that you can’t do it. This thought starts to become part of your identity. On the other hand, if you have a more positive belief like “I’m capable and strong,” then chances are you’ll be able to bounce back from difficulty with greater ease. Self-talk like “I’m in control”, “I know I can do this”, “I am amazing” are powerful ways to manage your state, especially when you want to pull yourself out of a negative state.
Empowering beliefs can help us overcome fear and achieve our goals, providing us with reassurance that we can do something. If you can observe your thoughts and start to understand through self-awareness what beliefs you have, then you can question their validity; does this belief really help me? Or is the belief causing toxic consequences, for example, poor relationships or poor diet choices?
Human Needs
We all have basic wants and desires that motivate us in life. When our needs are not met, we often feel frustrated or even angry. This can lead to unhelpful reactions and behaviours when something doesn’t go our way. For example, if you are feeling lonely and isolated, then that may be why you lash out in a situation where your expectations weren’t met. If you can identify the need that is not being met, then you can take steps to address it. This could be something as simple as reaching out for support or taking a break from a challenging situation.
Our Filter
We all have different perspectives and opinions that we use when interpreting the world around us. This can lead us to make snap judgments or wrong assumptions in certain situations – leading to a negative outcome. To avoid this, take time to pause and reflect on the situation before reacting impulsively.
Consider any biases or preconceived ideas you may have and adjust your expectations accordingly. Ask yourself questions like “what might be an alternate explanation for this?” and “is my opinion based on evidence?”. Having the ability to step back and calmly assess a situation can lead to better outcomes.
Behaviour & Perspective
We all have an unconscious patterned behaviour or a reoccurring pattern of how we react in certain situations. This is usually rooted in our past experiences. For example, an abusive person has insecure thoughts or paranoid thoughts. These are habits that the abuser fosters over time, passed down from parents or relationships. They justify this behaviour by blaming others for their state of mind.
We can take steps to break these patterns and create new ones. Start by increasing your self-awareness – observe your behaviour, your thoughts and feelings, and how they interact with each other. From there, develop coping strategies such as grounding techniques or mindfulness to help you manage difficult emotions. Lastly, make sure you are taking care of yourself by engaging in self-care activities.
Unlock Your Potential
When we understand our beliefs and needs, we can start to break free from the cycle of negative reactions that often hold us back from achieving our goals. With this knowledge comes empowerment; a belief in ourselves that we can manage any situation, creating the opportunity to unlock our true potential. So next time something doesn’t go your way, take a moment to reflect and consider if it’s really them – or you.
To find out more information on the power of our minds and how we can harness other healthy habits, take a read through my book “Health & Wellbeing Made Easy, The 12 Principles of Outstanding Health & Wellbeing”.